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Perth husband betrayed by Chinese wife

26/Mar/2013

Comments: 38 readers have left a comment

A south-eastern suburbs man, left betrayed and with sexually transmitted diseases, is warning others not to fall for the same tricks he did.

In April 2010, someone he now knows as the “madam” of a brothel introduced him to a Chinese woman, whom he married later that year.

On New Year’s Eve in 2012, less than three weeks after she gained permanent Australian residency, she left him — with genital warts and herpes.

It was then the signs fell into place: her ready cash, her late nights “at the casino” , her two mobile phones and her “friendship” with the madam, who once lent her $2700 for one visa application.

“I obviously had feelings for the woman, and turned a blind eye to a lot of things,” he said.

Dr Lauren Hewitt, a lecturer at Curtin University’s School of Psychology, in Bentley, said although she could not comment about the victim specifically, she speculated on how the man could have been persuaded into marriage.

“We are more likely to be influenced by people whom we perceive to be credible, likeable, popular and attractive,” Dr Hewitt said.

“There is no ‘type’ of person who is susceptible to persuasion — we are all influenced by other people.

“We are less likely to be influenced when we know that someone is making a deliberate attempt to persuade us.”

The man’s screens for other diseases came back clear, but the HIV test result will take several weeks.

He is seeing a psychologist as he waits.

“It’s hit me pretty hard,” he said.

He confronted his estranged wife at her workplace recently.

“She couldn’t look at me,” he said.

“She said ‘I work full time for (the madam) now’.

I asked her why and she said ‘for the money’.”

He said he felt some compassion for his wife, whom he said was from a poor area, and other women in her situation.

“They get no respect and she probably had a hard upbringing,” he said.

“They see opportunities and take them, but they’re never really happy.

“They’re always playing roulette. It’s a very high-risk business, as I now know.”

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What everyone else is thinking

Ben

10/09/2014

A message to Amanda at the top of this blog! What's wrong with Aussie women is that the majority are chasing the Bigger better deal all the time! They are never happy! It's so damm easy to dump someone and move on! I'm a normal intelligent young 39 year old man, no kids, never been married, run businesses and I'm not ugly! Yet all the Aussie born women I have dated are never happy! I've recently started talking with several Asian ladies on normal reputable dating sites like eHarmony, and I have found the Asian women are far more open and prepared to talk to you and give you a chance! They don't seem to be as shallow as Aussie born women. And yes I am Australian born and bred!

Amanda

02/05/2014

What about all the single Aussie girls ??? Where are we to meet these guys !! NO MEN LEFT IN PERTH !!

Mark

02/05/2014

Look relationships fail all the time
its harder when you marry a lady even if well educated from overseas
the visa attraction is real / I have been in that situation
just sad when you realise your marriage is a scam a few months after she gets her visa and walks out

brigitte

02/04/2013

The STDs he got are permanently in the system type viruses. Stressful times can cause those viruses which may have been previously barely symptomatic, then dormant to come up as outbreaks. If he isn't a virgin, the China girl isn't necessarily the source. Marriages to OS brides are nearly all based on pragmatic contracts over exchanging goods and services. The successful fair marriages are more likely to involve at some level a brides family, met or at least taken into account. The groom's own family context must have a capacity to tolerate his new commitments. Terms in the exchange are politely clearly implicit and some aspects will be explicitly negotiated. The couple privately are quite aware of their relationship basis, despite in public using conventional in love claims. Respectfully adhered to, such relationships can be positive, much like constructive arranged marriages. Men who want flattery, brides that don't check up enough, create failures, not the migration departments.

CNG editor

02/04/2013

Hello WA Chap,

Yes the story about the man is just the beginning of a much broader story.

What the Department of Immigration and Citizenship has to say about the story is in this week's newspaper.

Questions have been put to senior West Australian police and of course the Health Department. We are waiting for responses.

The story was generated from a small Community newspaper where what locals say matter. So it was NOT written to "go for the heart-strings". The man in the story wanted to ensure no one else fell for any alleged "scam". He approached us to tell his story.

We understand exactly what you are saying about the need for conformity to health checks. And, as soon as we receive a response from the Health Dept, we'll put the story Online.

In the meantime, be assured we are working hard to cover as many angles to this story as we possibly can, given we are working on many other stories at the same time.

Karen Valenti, Comment News editor

Old Man

02/04/2013

Read and think.
Mail-order brides often give up personal feelings to support family back home, often staying with abusive husbands who otherwise couldn't hold a relationship. Young women looking for work have been tricked into prostitution or sweat shops.
Is that taking advantage?
The woman probably uses protection with most customers but not with her husband as that would raise suspicions.
No, he wasn't introduced to her by a madam but by someone "he now knows as a madam". Big difference.
At the end of the day, the woman was dishonest and the man was foolish. No law to stop that, any more than there is to stop other fools sending their life savings to Nigeria.

Hubbard

01/04/2013

The guy only knows NOW that the woman who introduced them turns out to be the madam she is working for.

aaa

31/03/2013

this.ishappening.to.much.wheres.the.imagration.doing.about.it

Paul

28/03/2013

People pretend to conjure relationships just to get into Australia, often leaving both male and female victims out in cold. I think the immigration laws should be restrictive and conditional when it comes to spouse visas. By that I mean, if someone comes as spouse and gains permenant visa in Australia, they must be given some lengthy time to remain with the sponsor spouse. Failing that would be automatic lost of permenant visa and deportation back to the country of origion.

elle

28/03/2013

sorry but he is a fool.
Why emigration doesn't do anything?

WA Chap

28/03/2013

This is utterly dreadful reporting. This man being left carrying a disease and a broken heart is simply the catalyst, where is the real story about the sex worker and the lack of conformity to health checks?
Terrible journalism folks. When there's something much larger at stake, you go for the heart-strings and the moderately racist headline to incite an emotive response. There's a bigger story here that's been blown horribly.

Not tellin

27/03/2013

If you think you are going to end up with a good wife from a Chinese working girl then you are stupid!! They live for gambling and to send money home to fund their family or retirement. Know of only 2 girls who are Chinese in the industry that are married to a gwailo not involved in the usual antics. The marriage business is 2 years and they pay for the house and give the man between 30 -50 k in return for citizenship. Most of these girls con extras out of their customers such as unprotected sex, oral and anal. This guy should feel bad. Know 1 guy head over heels in love with a HK girl. Regular guy loaned her money when she was down at the casino. 2 years ago she won 900k. Went to HK bought her apartment for 700+ and never gave him a cent. Still operating around the country as a hooker but has no PR or visa. Watch out guys they are only interested in money and when working the ads say anything goes. Its a time bomb with deadly consequences

Jj

27/03/2013

You can't turn a ho into a housewife mate, the thing that struck out straight at me is this girl was introduced to you by a Madam, that should have already set off bells ringing, that's a major red flag and you decide to marry this girl. Fellas please don't be gullible out there and def don't accept any girls introduced by Madams or you will have an empty wallet and some serious bugs crawling down there and breaking out into all kinnnds of diseases.

Happily Married Dude

27/03/2013

Having married a young lady from a remote part of China - and having been together now for 12 wondrous years - I would simply ask those reading this not to lump everyone from China (or any other part of Asia) into the same basket. My wife is the best thing that happened to me. However, we met under normal circumstances and did everything happy couples do before they get married, like spending time with each other's families, travelling to each other's parts of the world and getting to know each other, like most genuine people do. There is no quick and easy way to find love, but cultures and borders are no barrier when you find it.

Gootsteed

27/03/2013

Deserves what he got, I suppose he thought she loved him. Fool! Time to grow up.

Darren Fisher

27/03/2013

There was a Madam who was 'importing' Malaysian/Chinese girls to work in Rivervale. I believe she has served a term in jail and is now back in 'business' My mate got a call from her the other day saying she is back in 'business'. She is now also looking for 'partners'/boyfriends for some of her girls. Mate just told me that she was also at Inglewood. Fellas be very careful of these Asian Massage places...you may get more than you bargain for!!! The authorities should deport these people. Obviously the stint in jail meant nothing.

shirl

27/03/2013

I feel sorry for anyone who have been ripped off, there are so many scams, Gumtree adds get an immediate txt asking for you to email them ur lowest price, they then offer what you want and ask for your bank details to transfer money..all this without looking at the item??
Tree loppers severly overchargeing elderly residents for prunning, saying they will be fined by the council or western power.
The phone scams asking for u to log onto your computor because thet is an error!! Be vigilant, if you are not sure, ask for help

Sensibility

27/03/2013

The issue here is not whether the gentleman was gullible but should our laws be changed to deport obvious cases of misuse of citizenship application in Australia. There are many cases every year in Australia of people being taken for a ride regarding "Citizenship marriage". The law needs to be altered to deport offenders and sponsors such as the Madam in this case. Shame on those who belittle this chap who was USED buy our ineffective legal system. Fingers crossed our medical system can be of more assistance. Don't give up on your fellow humans just be cautious as there are some only 2% or so who are not so friendly.

MMMM

27/03/2013

MMM working in a brothel with STD'S
Good luck to the guys that visit her.
Where are the screenings for sex workers gone.

CNG editor

27/03/2013

@Scarboroughcurious:
The reason the story has news value is that a member of our community has STIs and is awaiting the results of HIV tests because he was the victim of a scam.
He was brave enough to tell us his story because he does not want to see anyone else conned. The man has been selfless.
Sure, you and I may know there is no such thing as a free lunch. However, there are good people, honest and trusting members or our community, who are not as savvy.
Does this man deserve to have his story told? Of course. Do I feel sorry for him? Of course. Is there more to this story? Of course....much more.
- Karen Valenti, Comment News editor

Colin T

27/03/2013

There are meant to be laws in place that state you do not get to keep your green card (Australian citizenship) if you get divorced shortly after you get it.
There are also laws about deliberately, willingly and knowingly spreading communicable diseases.
The woman in question has broken several laws and should lose her residency. She should be charged with relevant offenses, deported, and never allowed back into this country.

Village idiot

27/03/2013

A dishonest prostitute? Who'd have thunk it?

David

27/03/2013

What an idiot. Taxpayers have to cover the cost of these illegal sham marriages. These people should be banned from sponsoring another foreign spouse.

Cindy

27/03/2013

sorry but I love these stories - I think people get whatever they deserve when they think they can get someone younger and better looking by taking advantage of people who are vulnerable because they were born in less prosperous countries.

MK

27/03/2013

Wait WHAT?

you're telling me that a Brothel Madame is NOT a reliable marriage matchmaker??

Good thing i read this article,
or I never would have guessed or figued that out
Not in a million years

Paula Treacy

27/03/2013

Get her and the madam and deport them both - this should not be automatically her ticket to stay in this country........

petey of morley

27/03/2013

Seriously this is what happens when men think they can "change" a woman - Like so many 'bar girls' from Thailand who rip men off. Buyer beware, literally!

Poor Choices- Lots of Sorrow

27/03/2013

Be Aware! Why would you go out with someone connect to a Madam of a brothel??? There are so many lovely naturally born women in this country desent women too but unfortunately they obviously do not come up to your expectations and so you foolishly decided to meet someone from such seedy circumstances. Obviously the grass is not greener on the other side of the fences. You are old enough to make better choices. Sorry you made your bed mate you lie in it! You are totally responsible for what happened to you. No sympathy from me on this one.

PUFF

27/03/2013

Did this guy engage with his "wifes" family? did he have proper and decent engagement? did he even have a proper unpaid relationship with the woman both before and after the "marrage" did he go into this with his eyes open? is this "news article" in context?
I think none of the above.

Oksanna

26/03/2013

Not all Chinese women are con artists, even Chinese men are extremely cautious prior to settling on a life partner, and will go out in group activities to watch her behaviour with others, where it is more difficult to maintain a charade. Buddhists say the three fires of greed hatred and delusion are always burning, and these fires are not limited by racial boundaries. There are these type of people in every culture.

Scarboroughcurious

26/03/2013

How is this news? And why is this being posted on a supposedly serious news website?

It's just a case of yet another foolish person who "turned a blind eye to a lot of things" and married someone who they didn't really know in return for sexual gratification. Without contemplating the old adage that "there's now such thing as a free lunch."

Please focus on some more serious and ground-breaking stories in future.

COMSENSE

26/03/2013

WHEN ARE THESE FOOLS EVER GOING TO LEARN.

janetr

26/03/2013

I am so sorry for what has happened to you. Unfortunately it really appears that you just can't TRUST people these days. I have heard of similar things over and over again. I think this woman should be charged as clearly she is ONLY A USER. And came here under false pretences.

I hope things improve for you. Do not let this ruin your life - BUT JUST DO YOUR HOMEWORK on any woman from now. PEOPLE ARE VERY OFTEN NOT WHAT THEY APPEAR TO BE. Good luck. xo

blanche

26/03/2013

I have know someone who fell for this, not once, but twice. The first one was a prostitute when he met her, but managed to convince him she had changed. Suffice to say, she got citizenship AND his house. The second one didnt come clean with her role as a part time prostitute when he married her, but slipped up like the one in the story...she still walked away after a ridiculously short amount of time with citizenship and most of his life savings. The foolish man has moved on to potential wife number 3, same region, different brothel, but still believes she loves him and will be a great wife to him. I stopped feeling sorry for him after wife number two.

Rosie

26/03/2013

It's his own fault. There is obviously an age difference...........should have realised he was being conned. And as for her and the Madam they should be charged and deported.

jackie

26/03/2013

I feel really sorry for these people but if you marry someone from another country and only a few months after knowing them the chances unfortunately aren't going to be good.
There are scam's everywhere.

Kate Northway

26/03/2013

There's no reason why this prostitute cannot now be picked up by the police and deported as well as the madam! We need to alter the immigration rulings and be able to deport criminals back to their country of origin regardless of the fact that they have become Australian citizens, a privilege given under false pretences.

PPP

26/03/2013

I have had the same experience with a man from Indonesia, that I thought really loved me but the reality is he was only looking for a meal ticket in our country. Yes, they may have had a hard life but we also have had to work for what we had. I feel for this man coz I am in the same position but fortunately for me I did not acquire any diseases, just got taken for everything I owned and then he walked away. So cruel !!

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