Four-year-old girl disciplined for kiss

04/Dec/2012

Comments: 35 readers have left a comment

Jessica Blyth and her four-year-old daughter Amelia. Jessica Blyth and her four-year-old daughter Amelia.

A GOSNELLS mother says early childhood teachers need to focus on caring for students rather than punishment, after her daughter was disciplined for kissing another child.

Jessica Blyth recently took her four-year-old daughter Amelia out of Gibbs Street Primary School in East Cannington after a pre-primary teacher made her sit on a time-out mat for kissing another child.

“The time-out mat was excessive, a simple talking to would be sufficient,” she said.

“It is the teacher’s duty to show students, especially young children, compassion and I do not believe this has happened,” she said.

Gibbs Street Primary School principal Karen Jones said the school did not have a set policy concerning kissing but teachers were responsible for managing student behaviour.

“Students have boundaries in relation to physical contact and teachers are in the best position to manage unwanted behaviour in the classroom setting,” she said.

“Teachers work hard with students to teach them what appropriate behaviour is.”

Curtin University early childhood education lecturer Eva Dobozy said she could not comment on this specific incident but said curriculum demands and national testing were forcing many educators to teach young children a formal style rather than through play and inquiry.

She said this could result in children who were not ready for formalised schooling to misbehave.

“This push, on children from a very early age, could see them become disenfranchised, especially boys which could easily result in them being turned off learning,” she said.

“A child who doesn’t want to do something, or thinks they can not do something, will lose interest and it quite likely to act out.

“A play-based learning environment provides opportunities for social and academic learning… and they learn to trust themselves that they can learn, not just because they have to but because they want to.”

Dr Dobozy, who also has published a paper on the detriment of homework from a young age, spoke about issues such as play at a WA State School Teachers Union early childhood forum last week.


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What everyone else is thinking

Las

12/12/2012

They are just young children in their first year at school a huge over reaction by the teacher to a kiss even several kisses. The Mum has every right to move her child especially to demonstrate that this response was unacceptable. If anything the teacher could of phoned the Mum to discuss her concerns and let her Mum explain to the child in her own way. I also come from the days of playing kiss chasey in the school yard and I think the issue of physical contact between 4 year olds has definately been taken too far. It will become a pretty sad society if no one ever touches each other any more. My son used to sit at school with his arm around his best friend which used to make me smile at parent duty but the school never ever complained or tried to stop it.

Robbity

08/12/2012

While I can see both sides of this issue, Amelia is only 4 years old ffs. The political correctness brigade are becoming a joke. If we spend our whole lives trying to avoid upsetting everyone around us it will be a pretty poor existence. Differences are meant to mean diversity - lets all get on with our lives without taking offence at everyone around us who doesn't share our views!!

Moira

08/12/2012

As a teacher of young children of 25 years experience I can tell you that every day presents a series of incidents that need to be dealt with and require a fine balancing act between what is considered appropriate by most of society and what is a reasonable action for the children involved. In this incident there were two children and both of them needed to have the incident dealt with in an appropriate manner for themselves. Unfortunately because of today's society it is incumbent on parents and teachers to teach even very young children when and what is appropriate touching of others. As teachers we are required to teach children that at school this means you do not have intimate contact (as in kissing) with anyone that is not one of your family or someone that your parents have directly told you is ok to kiss (outside of school) which is all part of child protective behaviour learning in the Health and Safety curriculum. I believe the teacher acted appropriately in this instance.

Carly

07/12/2012

This girl did something the boy did not like, he told her to stop, she kept doing it. This is harassment and it made the boy upset.
To all the people commenting about teaching students to care- it is important to teach students to care about others' feelings! So when someone says "Stop" you stop!
It was appropriate for the teacher to give the child time out (not sent out of the class remember, just sitting on a mat to think about her actions) so the child would learn not to ignore a "Stop" again.

Total overreaction by the mum. I bet the mum would have been the first to complain if her daughter had been upset by someone else kissing her against her wishes!

Kylie

07/12/2012

The TV report gave the additional information that the child kissed repeatedly and was asked not to as the boy did not like the attention. .

It sounds to me that the "punishment" i.e. exclusion was in response to the child not acting on a request to stop the unwanted behaviour, not specifically for the behaviour itself.

It annoys me when parents cry foul but only tell half the story. From the broader view of the incident I believe the school acted appropriately, and the parent needs to be advised to focus on increasing her child's understanding of the requirement to respond to requests from the teacher.

Naomi

07/12/2012

I would not want my 6 year old son kissed at school. My son has a severe peanut allergy that results in anaphylaxis. If my son was kissed by someone with traces of peanuts on them, the location of the kiss would immediately get a rash like hives. If the kiss was on the lips and my son licked his lips after the kiss and ingested traces of peanuts he could have an immediate reaction and could go into anaphylactic shock. With the limited details we have, I agree with the teacher. Parents need to consider others not just themselves.

Deb

07/12/2012

Thank you Jo Rene (4/12/12) for the only balanced ,respectful and compassionate commentary on this situation.

princess

07/12/2012

The school did the right thing. This woman doesnt know what shes on about how would u know if her kid had germs or some other kid has an infection? shes putting everyones health at risk by doing this.Its best to blow kisses its stupid to pull her out of school because she thinks she can do whatever she wants and deny her daughter to learn and socialise properly

Faye

07/12/2012

I agree with Lancelot's 'idiots taking over the asylum' comment. What kind of world are we living in when a small child can't show another affection without punishment? Kissing happened all the time when I was a child and if anyone had complained they would have been laughed at. What nonsense! Political correctness is out of control in this country. What has happened to common sense?

helen

06/12/2012

I think the article should be more explanatory about whether the "kiss" was unwanted or not. If it was, then the teacher's reaction was justified. If however it was just a couple of friends being over affectionate; then thats ok and the teacher should maybe just have explained to the child/ren concerned that there is a more appropriate time and place for it. I too like Kimberley can remember as a small child we used to chase the boys around the playground trying to kiss them but it was all in fun. I'm sure no one complained to the teacher and I went to a Catholic school where it was more restrictive as to what could and couldn't be done (and this was also in the age of physical punishment at schools)

Fox

06/12/2012

How ironic that bluey should criticize Lancelot and suggest he is lacking in manners and etiquette when bluey's grammar is appalling. It's the parents need, not needs and teacher's not teachers. People in glasshouses really should not throw stones...

Jane

06/12/2012

Absolutely debutler!
Unfortunately there is soo much more to both sides of this story that we will never know!
So sad that someones 5 minutes of fame has to come at such an expense to others involved.

lolly

06/12/2012

Great way to teach our kids to be emotionless and uncaring. Who cares if she kissed another kid. Teens are so arrogant and aggressive these days so maybe we need to teach them love and compassion at a younger age. I had my first kiss at the age of 5 in the playground. But that was 1989.. how times have changed for the worse... *sigh*

Emma

06/12/2012

I personally think that the teacher did nothing wrong in putting the child in a "time-out". Just because they are young, it does not mean that they need to be protected from everything "bad"
It's not like the teacher displayed violence or anything. The mother is over-reacting.

Victoria

05/12/2012

Often the situation is not fully as reported and there are gaps in the story. I don't have kids but from what I know from friends and family 4 year olds can be quite spontaneous and it is harsh in my opinion to give such a young kid a time out for something like that. a child of 7 would know but 4 is still very young. I guess for a parent who deals with children more than I do this may be looks different; personally I don't understand how a kid of 4 would know that kissing a friend is inappropriate

Kimberley

05/12/2012

Gee when I was 6 at school the best game was chasing the boys and kissing them when you caught them. I even got to sit next to one of the boys I caught & remember kissing him 20 times one day. Forty eight years later I wonder if he suffered? But the boys still say I am a good kisser so it pays to start young!

Paul

05/12/2012

And now the mother has over-reacted and compounded the situation for her daughter. I'm glad it wasn't my kids being kissed, I think the school has acted correctly. The mother has made her daughter a 'victim'.

Taralee

05/12/2012

It would be great to have more information on this incident, I also assume like others that the child receiving the kiss didn’t want to receive a kiss!!

Bring on hugs and kiss in classes if you ask me!

bluey

05/12/2012

Lancelot, you are a disgrace.
Grow up as the teacher did the right thing.
The parents needs to teach etiquette and manners. This is not a teachers job and has never been!
And from what you have written you have no manners or etiquette either!

Fox

05/12/2012

The little girl is 4. That teacher needs to have a serious rethink about the way she treats innocent young kids. What possible harm can a gesture of affection by an open little girl have done?! Good on the mum for removing her from the clutches of this woman...

debutler

05/12/2012

Sensationalist reporting, really, no mention of how much time in time out nor how many times it has happened. I think the mother needs to consider her over reaction as well, to remove a child from a class where they have already developed friendships over one incident, and then going to the newspaper?

JoRene

04/12/2012

I can only surmise that the recipient of the kiss, whatever type it is and often children copy parents, did not find it welcome. In a group of 30 kindy students to give a child 'time out' is not unusual and is a 'stop and think' time, say 'sorry' to the person upset and be reinstated in class group.
Our social mien is so pluralistic and schools have to integrate these personality and family cultural practices into what is reasonable for all.
I feel that the mother of this possibly charming and affectionate child has over-reacted. She needs to explain to her child that not everyone wants to be hugged and kissed by everyone. I had one granddaughter whose hugs were so hard that many of her young peers ran away from her. She learned!
Cultural practices at home are not always suitable in larger institutions. There is also the health risk with which many people have to contend through no fault of their own that they may be more susceptible to childhood diseases than others.

Lancelot

04/12/2012

The idiots are taking over the asylum once again. The child was only 4 years old, get a life.

Michelle

04/12/2012

This is not unlike many ridiculous behaviours teachers exhibit. One of my kid's get's punished if she works ahead in subject areas she has mastered. Heaven forbid the teacher might do their job and provide the right level of instruction. Next they'll blame it on the 'low pay' or similar. Attention people of Perth: If you study teaching at university the end result is a teaching job. If you don't like the pay rate or children then perhaps you might consider a different career.

Fiona

04/12/2012

I'd be very interested to hear both sides of the story to make an accurate decision about this. Sadly the teacher will never get to have a say on any behaviour by the child leading up to "the kiss".

Mia

04/12/2012

Hah I am sure the school is happy for you to leave! The teacher did the right thing. The child needs to be taught what is appropriate beahviour and what is not. I know I wouldn't want my child being kissed by another child. These days, it seems parents are leaving teaching the child manners to the school, then complaining when they don't agree with something...

Lancelot

04/12/2012

Pathetic - I'd sack the teacher.

Lancelot Barron

04/12/2012

The teacher obviously needs re-educating as she is not fit for purpose. O perhaps she needs a change of profession.

Marie

04/12/2012

If the girl only kissed the other kid once than, yes, it is a bit over the top to put her in the naughty corner. If she was doing this repeatedly than I can understand. But taking the girl out of school just because of what this teacher did? That's ridiculous! Just because the mother doesn't believe in the teacher's methods, it doesn't mean her daughter should miss out on any more school.

margaret

04/12/2012

Oh for heavens sake , did the girl bite the other kid, let us get real here, we keep talking about teaching children about compassion , understanding , care for others and she gets punished for kissing.
Deborah, you say your child has received unwanted physical attention from another child, was it is just a kiss or something like being hit. There is a big difference and I think a gentle word as the comment was made would definately have been sufficient.

Carolyn Lloyd

04/12/2012

If the story is as reported, then the teacher needs to look at her approach. The little girl is 4 years old for goodness sake. She probably comes from a family where affection is openly displayed. There is far too little affection in the world of Political Correctness. If the Little girl was 9 or 10 years old then a simple "Don't do that in class would be sufficient" Maybe the Teacher should take some time out

KINCHAR

04/12/2012

Here we go again, more school stupidity.

Amanda

04/12/2012

We don't know the whole story behind this but I really think that kids need to be able to show affection if its in a simple way. Both my children are very affectionate and are always giving out kisses and hugs and Id hate to think they were punished for it. If the other child isn't happy with the attention then asking them to stop and explaining why is enough as far as Im concerned.

boocuddles

04/12/2012

You may be right Deborah about the attention but the mother is correct in saying that the punishment was wrong and excessive,the little girl is only 4,a word from the teacher would have been sufficient.I was punished in this way and made to sit in the corner when I was 5,I am now 62 but I have never forgotten it.

Deborah

04/12/2012

As the parent of a child who has received unwanted physical attention from another child, I think the school did the right thing.

I really can't understand what this mother is complaining about. Time out is hardly a cruel or extraordinary punishment.
It's just a chance to think or rethink.

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