Motel Hell (1980)
Directed by Kevin Connor
Starring Rory Calhoun, Paul Linke, Wolfman Jack, Nancy Parsons
Farmer Vincent (Calhoun) and sister Ida (Nancy Parsons) are proprietors of Motel Hell, (which is actually 'Motel Hello', but their neon sign is broken). Vincent has been a long-time producer of the county’s finest smoked meats and fritters. However, these are not meats of the bovine or swine variety, oh no siree! Old Vince and Ida are kidnapping hotel guests they don’t like, burying them up to their necks in a special garden and when they are ‘ripe’, it’s off to the smoke house with ‘em. Yee-haw!
And there you have in a nutshell the plot of this twisted delight. Obviously this movie was an attempt at cashing in on the sensation Texas Chainsaw Massacre made around the same time and on most counts, it delivers many cheap thrills. It is more lighthearted than that film, kind of like a pisstake of Tobe Hooper’s nightmarish exploration of the weirdness and sinister side of life in ‘hicksville’.
The dialogue is surprisingly sharp in places, although most of the actors, (apart from the Calhoun and Parsons), are decidedly terrible at their craft. Oh well, this ain't no Shakespeare! Could the bard have penned linguistic gems such as:
“Meat’s meat and there to eat!”?
These were Grandmas words of wisdom to the demented Farmer Vincent as a child. Another hilarious scene is when Vincent recollects another time when his Grandma smoked their dog, smoked him up so good, that the whole darn family had a chew. There are various twists and turns involving other minor characters but it is the psycho sister/brother duo who truly steal the show.
The film is largely derivative of any number of slasher flicks, but outdoes them all with the totally preposterous yet highly original premise. The climactic scenes are memorable, with a crazed Farmer Vincent running around wearing a pigs head as a mask and brandishing a chainsaw. Sound familiar?
What’s great about this one is the hilarious ‘conservationist’ moral undertones. Vincent believes himself to be doing ‘divine’ work and in the end, like all good villains, reveals his motives:
“There are too many people in the world and not enough food. I was just getting rid of two problems at once.”
God bless him.