Cursed on Public Transport

This is NOT my usual style of post. This is NOT about taking up a hobby. This is about the perils and 'excitement' of public transport in Thrillsville.

Now, everyone knows there is NO parking in Perth. No parking anywhere. You know it, I know it and someone named WILSON knows it. Wilson knows it and that is why he charges you a f***ing fortune to park at his carpark. I hate Wilson. I hate him more and more every hour. But this isn't about Wilson. This is about public transport and the delightful people who frequent public transport.

Now public transport is what people use to get to and from places because:
a.) They can't afford a car (poor people)
b.) They can't afford petrol (regular people)
c.) They can't drive (stupid people)
d.) They don't want to pay for parking or there is no parking at their place of work (me)
e.) They are trying to save the world (greenies)
f.) They are students, old people, young people, disabled, not of sound mind, etc. (infirm)

It is meant to be cheaper and easier than driving yourself but taking public transport often costs you much more than you may have bargained for.

This morning, for example, as I was waiting for the bus, I was asked for money by an angry-looking woman, wearing nothing but her sheer dressing gown and a little bit of spew in the corner of her mouth. Charming. I declined. She got annoyed and accused me of being 'sarcastic' and 'mean' and then, THEN, she cursed me with terminal lung cancer. She slurred, and I quote, "I hope you get lung cancer and die." And the train is no better. I clearly recall an outing to the Perth train station which took place five years ago. I was, again, asked for a dollar that I did not have to give. The obese woman took offence to my polite but firm, "No, sorry", and cursed me with anal rape. Her exact words: "I hope you get raped, I hope you get raped in the arse." Lovely.

So reader beware, take public transport at your peril.

Now that I have been cursed with anal rape and terminal lung cancer I am not sure if I will take the bus again.

THRILLS & SPILLS
Level of difficulty: 1/5
Co-ordination: 1/5
Fun: -5/5
What to wear: clothing
What to bring: money
Where to go: Bus stop or train station
Average cost: $1.50 2 sections full fare
Who to contact: www.transperth.wa.gov.au

Reader Comments

dark knight

20/06/2008 at 19:24

OMG that is my nightmare and why i will NEVER catch public transport.
It seems to be common knowledge that Perth has the WORST public transport infrastructure in the Western World.

Even though i am hardly in a financially savvy position, i would rather catch cabs than have to deal with people like these women you speak of.

How disgusting is this, telling another woman that she wishes rape to happen to her?
What are we in the middle ages or worse Jordan?!
And if this woman was to see rape happening, would she report it? Probably not as it is her wish for it to happen.
This is probably her "Thrillsville" so to speak.

The fact that people like this are not kept in cages and are allowed to rule over public transport why most of use just want to get from a to b and save some money and not worry about parking distresses me greatly.

Bus Driver

20/06/2008 at 20:03

I hate pubic transport also

Geoffrey

23/06/2008 at 12:36

You're obviously catching public transport from the wrong areas - it's pretty good in the western suburbs!

No Comment

23/06/2008 at 12:42

Terminal lung cancer and anal rape? You really had a bad day, Thrillsy. I have been trying to get used to public transport - because one day, no one will be able to afford a) parking and b) petrol - but it's very difficult. Some routes are, however, more... "interesting" than others. When I catch the bus to my mum's house from work, it is a rather pleasant journey - people in suits, well-behaved, blah blah blah. Perhaps to do with the socioeconomic make-up of the area. Buses and trains to MY house, however, usually entail someone coughing up phlegm, drug addicts or, like last week, a 20-something mother-of-five (I know this because I heard her telling another random passenger) with three of said children in tow, "off to the children's court because their aunty's been naw-dee". At least you're guaranteed of blog post fodder.

F Bangle

23/06/2008 at 12:59

i knew i'd find you again!

if my sheer dressing gown wasn't at the cleaners i'd come after you!

see you at the bus stop!

--F. Bangle

Miels

23/06/2008 at 13:27

I so empathise. I was once punched in the mouth for saying 'no' to a beggar asking for $2.
I was just 14 and she didn't look any older. I was gob-smacked (literally) that someone could do this to me.
The place? Morley bus station. Oh, yes. Public transport venue, of course. I was on my way to the Galleria to buy Mariah Carey's new album, Music Box (yes, the year was 1993, people).
After she refused to leave my two friends and I alone, I said, 'look, we don't have any money'. I was then teased about my hair clips and pushed from behind. I then turned around, only to cop an almighty whack in the jaw.
Despite feeling the restraint of a private school blazer and tie, my spectacles having slid down my nose and badly shaken, I somehow managed to pick myself up and push her back. As for my friends, they had run off. And where was bus station security?!?!
Since that incident, I don't think I have ever refused a beggar's request. More out of fear than generosity, I must say.

23/06/2008 at 14:47

"Beggars", Miels? What, are we in a Dickens novel? Did the "beggar" cup his/her cut-off mittened hands (before smacking you in the mouth) and say, "Please, marm, just a cuppla pennies for me tea?"

23/06/2008 at 16:56

My apologies, No Comment, but I guess I got the eastern suburbs of Perth confused with the hatongs of central Beijing.
I meant 'those people ASKING for money so they can buy a durry and die of lung cancer' as opposed to 'those people BEGGING for money so they can buy a bowl of noodle soup and live to see the next day'.

Aztec

23/06/2008 at 18:51

As I have said in response to another comment piece, unfortunately, Perth is a bit retarded when it comes to public transport systems.
Our train line is only very slowly being extended but we need a circle route like other cities and more frequent bus services to connect the suburbs to the centre.
It is really sad that even in our boom times our government can't get its act together and create a better system for everyone without it being a big fight that is marred by red tape and constant delays.
It is frustrating, as many of us would like to use public transport more, but our train stations are mainly smacked in the middle of the freeway, except for Perth, Subiaco, Leederville and Joondalup (Fremantle?).
The public transport system would be a lot more popular if Perth did something like other cities where people use public transport all the time because it was reliable and frequent, leaving little opportunity for freaks to approach you and abuse you for not giving them money.

Angie

25/06/2008 at 02:15

d.) They don't want to pay for parking or there is no parking at their place of work (me)

And when the nearest Park and Ride runs out of parking spaces at 8am, we have to drive in to Perth anyway.

There was a guy peeing on the McIver platform the other day. At 9am. There was some bushland five metres away and Royal Perth hospital around the corner, but no, only the platform would do as his toilet. "Ah," I thought to myself, "now this is big city living." :p

judgejulie

25/06/2008 at 22:38

I LOVE public transport!!! When I need some stimulating conversation or free entertainment I catch a bus and engage with high level intellectual people who address the entire captive audience with their views on life. "This f***** driver can't drive for s***" they shout companiably as though they even have the skills to do so themselves. They clip their brood of snotty, smelly, barefoot kids jovially behind the ear as they regale their prisoners with highly amusing anecdotes about
their wonderfully fulfilling lives in the ghettos and they are very keen to share this with all and sundry. There should be more free entertainment available of this calibre. I also travel by train on occasion-but only when
I feel like paying my fare to be physically and verbally attacked. Great subject matter for my novel. Nothing like some local colour and a trip on public transport to brighten my day. See you all soon on the 106!

K Reed

27/06/2008 at 14:15

Angie
Maybe you need to consider other ways of getting to the train station. There is never going to be enough park and Ride spaces unless your a night owl and yes people can have foul habits but most are harmless and they make great stories. We can't live in fear the more people that use it the safer it will be. Try cycling to the station get your exercise done at the same time.

voodoo

01/07/2008 at 15:38

Ticket prices went up over the weekend, so I now pay more for random hexings. Alannah McTiernan rulz!

Ruth

08/04/2009 at 12:52

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Ruth

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