One day you're a young, apathetic person with no worries or concerns, the next minute you've got a list of pet peeves the size of the Big Banana and you will not let anyone get away with the tiniest, weenciest slight, perceived or otherwise. One day you realise this and it sends you in a spin.
For me, this realisation dawned at the cinema. Greater Union to be exact. You see, it all started when GU decided to sell tickets to their movies online, numbering the seats and allocating every customer with a seat number. At first I ranted, I vowed to never buy another GU ticket, I said it was against my democratic right to sit wherever I want, whenever I want... And who were GU to try and number and catalogue me as though I was nothing but common cattle!?
But then I gave in, bought a ticket and even though I was five minutes late to the movie I still got a great seat. I got MY seat, the one that I ESPECIALLY chose. Aha! I realised that under this new system I could buy the seat I wanted online and be late to the movie and get a great seat and have my popcorn and eat it too! Amazing, fantastic, oh wow!
Until one day...
Until one day I bought tickets online and rocked up to the movie (late, of course), only to find someone parked in MY seats. MINE. The ones I ESPECIALLY chose. What a liberty! So I sat next to my allocated seats and I seethed. A battle raged inside me, my frozen coke started to melt as my cheeks burned with anger. 2 minutes passed.
The people who were sitting in my seats, the usurpers, leaned over to me and said "Sorry, are these your seats?"
"Yes", I replied.
"Oh, somebody sat in our seats so we had to sit here", they said.
WTF? I thought. You had to sit here in MY SEATS? Why not ask the people in YOUR seats to move? Something bubbled inside me, something strong, something scary, something that would not be silenced. What was this feeling? 2 more minutes passed as I contemplated my next move.
I leaned over and asked the usurpers: "Sorry which people took your seats?"
They pointed out the perps and with that I was off. I went right up to the seat stealers (2 middle aged, respectable looking citizens) and I said, "Excuse me, you have taken that couple's seat, so they are sitting in my seats could you please move to your allocated seat."
To which they replied: "Does it really matter?"
I paused for a split second.
In that split second I thought. Does it? Does it matter? If you don't sit in your seat and they can't sit in theirs so they take mine and I can't sit in mine so I take someone elses and then they can't sit in theirs and neither can anyone who bought stupid tickets to see this crappy movie. Does it matter? DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Yes it bloody matters. Yes it matters because without this system, lady, we would have anarchy on our hands. ANARCHY. People sitting wherever they please, in seats that have been ESPECIALLY numbered and sold. Sometimes sold ONLINE.
So I said: "Well yes it matters because, you see, we booked our seats online." Zing!
Anyways once I got her to move, I made the usurpers relocate and as I reclined in my prebooked allocated seat, while my partner hunched down in his chair with his hand over his face in utter embarrassment, it dawned on me. I am officially old. I don't put up with anarchy, I cannot abide rules being broken, I will have peace, I will have order and I will have my prebooked, numbered, allocated cinema seat damn it. I will have my seat.
PS - movie was pretty crap anyway.